


one handspan closer to you

by pavses



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pavses/pseuds/pavses
Summary: Inspired by the video letters they recorded for the MNET special of their American showcase. Five videos Beomgyu records and one that Taehyun records.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	one handspan closer to you

**Author's Note:**

> I managed to finish this in time for Taehyun's birthday! Title from 20cm lyrics (aka one of my absolute favorite TXT songs ever), but rephrased (Would it be okay if I came closer / one handspan more to you) - translation from [here](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2019/10/txt-tumoloubaitugedeo-20cm).
> 
> Also I imagine [something like this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395915/chapters/69579474) happens between 4 and 5 if you want to read the ~proposal scene~

one

Quiet moments were hard to come by before, but now in the month before their debut they were practically non-existent. Every single waking moment was filled with dance practice, vocal lessons, English lessons, but somehow, a miracle happens and Beomgyu manages to squeeze half an hour alone when he wakes up earlier than usual and the dorm is barely starting to brighten with the sun.

Beomgyu takes his phone out to the living space, sitting down cross-legged in the patch of space in front of the window. Out of habit he opens the camera app, staring at the red recording button for a moment before tapping it.

“Hi, me,” he says quietly after a pause. “I don’t know when you’ll be able to watch this again, but we’re about to debut in a couple days. We’ve been practicing so much it feels like I haven’t breathed until right now, and it’s only because I couldn’t sleep and woke up early.” He presses his thumb into the arch of his foot, massaging it while the rest of his body wakes up.

The longer he sits out there the warmer his spot gets, sun coming in almost directly in line with the window. “Oh, shit – “ Beomgyu taps the flip screen button and squints at his face on the camera. “A little puffy this morning, but you’re lucky there’s no filming today. Take care of your skin, you know how it gets.”

Behind him, he can hear someone – probably Taehyun – going into the bathroom. “Should probably wrap this up,” Beomgyu mumbles, switching hands so he can massage the arch on his other foot. “I hope our debut goes well. We’ve been practicing a lot. Right now it’s hard to feel anything but exhaustion and anxiety, but I hope that you’re proud of us, months, maybe years into the future. I hope we win a daesang.”

The bathroom door opens again, and Taehyun’s voice floats over, “Good morning, hyung.”

Beomgyu looks over to see Taehyun sleepily shuffling back into his room, eyes squinting without his contacts in yet. “Morning, Taehyun-ah.” He could hear Taehyun opening his contacts case, and he figures – that was probably the end of his alone time that morning, since he and Taehyun usually went to the studio together. He turns to his camera and waves, feeling a little silly but lighter. “Future me, I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re happy with all the other members.”

–

“What were you doing up so early?” Taehyun asks when they’re in the middle of stretching, practice room quiet around them

Beomgyu stares at the ceiling. “Talking to the future.” He hopes that somewhere, he’s rewatching this video with pride, and knows that in the meantime, he’ll work to make sure their debut is successful.

Taehyun looks at him, gaze feeling like it’s looking into his mind. Then a corner of his mouth quirks up into a crooked smile, and he says “I hope we’ve won a rookie daesang in this future.” He twists to his side, gaze falling away. Beomgyu feels a momentary pang of loss, but Taehyun twists to his other side soon enough. “How do you know if the future can hear you?”

Beomgyu sits up and hums, slowly folding himself over his legs and feeling his lower back stretch. “I don’t, but that’s ok. It means I’ll work harder now so we do win a daesang,” he says, voice muffled by his thighs.

Taehyun hums thoughtfully, watching as Beomgyu rolls out of his fold.

“What,” he mumbles, a little self-conscious. Taehyun did that to people sometimes, just watching with an expressionless face and it feels like he could see everything in Beomgyu’s mind. He always feels like his heart would beat out of his chest if Taehyun stared at him for too long, but that hasn’t happened yet.

He shrugs, finally looking away. “Nothing. I think it’s thoughtful.”

“You should try it sometime,” he says, relaxing a little without Taehyun’s gaze on him.

Taehyun hums to acknowledge his words, but before he says anything else, the door opens and the rest of their members pile in, “good morning”s coming with various forms of energy behind it.

That day’s practice goes so well Beomgyu feels like he could fly when the instructor calls their lesson to an end, even as he flops to the ground and lets his body sink like a sack of rocks. Taehyun stares again while he stretches, and Beomgyu sticks his tongue out at him, just to see what he would do.

Taehyun breaks into giggles and Beomgyu’s chest warms at the sound.

–

two

For all the teasing that Beomgyu and Taehyun got for being the shortest in the group, there were times when Beomgyu didn’t mind so much – he’s positive that Soobin would never be able to sit up in the top bunk bed, even if he ducked his head down – but it was pretty comfortable for Beomgyu, sitting cross-legged and leaning over his phone. He comments on a couple of posts on Weverse, smiling and feeling just a little better knowing there were people out there who loved their music, even if it was just their first EP.

Before long, he opens up the camera app, thumb hovering over the record button for a moment before tapping it. “Hi, Beomgyu in the future,” he says. “We’re about to leave for our showcase in America in a couple days. We also just recorded video letters to ourselves a month from now when we’re at the last stop on the showcase tour, but – “ Beomgyu swipes a notification away, “I wanted to record one too. Just for myself, and not for an MNET series. Even though what I said for the show was from the heart too.”

“Beomgyu-hyung?” a voice calls from the door.

He leans his head over the edge of his bed to see Taehyun standing there, practically drowning in a large t-shirt he swears belonged to Soobin at one point, hand pushing his hair back. “Taehyun-ah, up here.”

Taehyun’s gaze catches the phone in his hand, and then the bright red recording button. “Talking to the future again?” he says. “I can see the recording screen.”

Beomgyu nods.

“Make some room, I wanna come up,” Taehyun demands, and without waiting for a response he heads for the ladder, climbing up and crawling into his bed, grabbing one of the pillows to clutch to his chest. “Didn’t we do this in the afternoon? For the MNET program?”

He turns the camera so that both of them were in the frame, waving at the screen. “Hello, future-Taehyun-ah. This is something just for me – us, now. Anything you want to say, that you didn’t say for the show.”

Taehyun smiles crookedly, the corner of his mouth coming up. “I think I need an example, do you want to go first?”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes and hands his phone over, leaning back against the wall and curling his knees up to his chest. Taehyun fixes his hair, before giving a little nod when he is satisfied. “Future-Taehyun, I hope you’re even more handsome than you are right now.”

He snorts and Taehyun pinches his exposed calf. “Age before beauty,” Taehyun says loftily, and yelps when Beomgyu retaliates and pinches his thigh.

Beomgyu leans back again, watching as Taehyun mulls over what to say next. “Recording the clip for the MNET show was the first time I’ve done something like this, it’s kinda weird.” He rubs the back of his neck, and the shirt shifts with his arm, and Beomgyu thinks, _Just as handsome as the day I met him,_ when they were still trainees and awkward but hellbent on being the best rookie group in South Korea when they debuted.

Taehyun looks back. “Should I also talk to you in the future?”

He shrugs. “Whatever you want, Taehyun-ah.”

Taehyun turns back to the camera, lips pursed a little in thought. “Taehyun, for the MNET show I said I hoped you would be more confident after the showcase, and that we would perform perfectly with all five of us. And the members, we’re really close now, having lived together for almost three years, but I think we’ll be even closer after going through this showcase together.”

After living with Taehyun for so long, Beomgyu could tell when he started to relax while recording this, shoulders loosening from their tenseness and Taehyun moving his free hand more as he talked, his words coming out quicker. Taehyun’s always so animated, especially when he was comfortable, his eyes bright and so full of life and his mouth in his crooked little smile, no wonder Beomgyu fell in love with him –

– wait, _what_?

“... hyung, Beomgyu-hyung?” Taehyun snaps his fingers in front of Beomgyu’s face, his face swimming into view. “You spaced out for a bit.”

Beomgyu blinks, and no, Taehyun doesn’t look any different than he did when he first entered the room and said he was climbing up to the top bunk. But Beomgyu _feels_ different. All of a sudden he’s hyper-aware of how close Taehyun is to him, how long his eyelashes are, how soft his lips seem – “Sorry, just thinking.”

Taehyun holds his phone out at him, the recording light still blinking and the time showing it was almost at the fifteen minute mark. “Your turn. You should say it to both of us, it’s what I did.”

He takes the phone slowly, trying to pull his thoughts together. “It’s at fifteen minutes, are you sure you didn’t say enough for the both of us?” he teases, trying to distract himself.

Taehyun just flaps a hand at him, turning so he faces Beomgyu, tucking his chin into the pillow he was still holding. The tips of his ears are pink, proving he _did_ say a lot in the time it was recording. “Turns out there a lot to say when I know it’s not being put up on the Internet for everyone to see.”

“You sure _I_ won’t put this onto Weverse?”

“No, hyung, I trust you,” he says plaintively, and Beomgyu thinks, _That’s good, turns out I love you_ , which has a nice ring to it, and thinks again, turning his feelings over and over in his heart, _I love you, Taehyun-ah_.

–

three

Beomgyu loses track of how many times he watches the same video of their practice from earlier that evening, the last runthrough before Yeonjun called it a night because _It’s not happening tonight, we’ll work on it tomorrow after we get some rest_. Soobin and Hueningkai leaned on each other to stay upright as they left, exhaustion written over their faces, and Yeonjun had given Beomgyu a sharp look when he said he wanted to stay longer. “Don’t stay too late. Leave when Taehyun-ah leaves,” he had said, before following the others to the car.

And so. That’s where Beomgyu is now, going through the bridge again and again and frowning at his reflection. Logically, he knows what’s wrong with the bridge, his position is completely off and his gestures aren’t clean and it’s clear as day in the video, and when he takes things at half speed it’s fine, but as soon as he brings it back to normal it. Doesn’t _click_.

Beomgyu lets out a yell, starfishing out on the floor and squeezing his eyes shut against the glare of lights in the ceiling. He knows he should’ve gone home with the others when Yeonjun called it a night, but he’s never been good at knowing when to stop.

The light against the back of his eyelids dim, and Beomgyu hears footsteps coming closer to him. “Taehyun-ah, is that you?” he mumbles, eyes still shut against the weight of the choreography mistakes from that night.

“Yeah, I finished working out and saw the light was still on.” Taehyun takes a seat next to his head. “You’re still practicing?”

“I want to figure this bridge out before I go home.”

Taehyun hums, acknowledging but he doesn’t respond, just starts playing with the ends of Beomgyu’s sweat-soaked hair. It must be disgusting to touch, but Beomgyu finds the familiar gesture comforting, letting his breath out in a rush. He can hear the tinny sound of music coming from Taehyun’s Airpods, his workout playlist still on.

“Can I listen?” he asks, moving his body up so he could put his head on Taehyun’s thigh, pressing his head into Taehyun’s palm so he knows to keep petting his hair.

Taehyun uses his free hand to put one of the Airpods into Beomgyu’s ear, and he lets the English wash over him, a distraction from their own song that only reminds him of the choreography he keeps fucking up. Above him, Taehyun sings along softly, his voice strong and beautiful even when he isn’t trying hard.

“Are you sleeping here?” Taehyun asks softly, putting tiny braids in his hair before undoing it.

Beomgyu shrugs as best he can, finally opening his eyes to see Taehyun staring at him, hair pushed back with a sweatband. “I just want to – figure this out. When I go through it slowly it’s fine, but as soon as I have the music on and I’m dancing to it I keep messing it up. I don’t want to – “ He stops, swallows past the lump in his throat. “Everyone else knows their part. Everyone’s part is perfect in the video. Except me.” His voice trails off into nothing, and he squeezes his eyes shut again, not wanting to see whatever expression Taehyun has on his face.

There’s a long moment of silence, and then a soft, quiet understanding sound from Taehyun. “Beomgyu-hyung, will you look at me?” He pauses the music, pulls out the little Airpods so there wouldn’t be any distraction.

Beomgyu opens his eyes again and looks at Taehyun’s ear. He’s wearing small hoops today, silver ones that catch the light when he moves his head.

“ _Really_ look at me.” Taehyun smiles gently, playing with his bangs. “Hyung, this is why Yeonjun-hyung ended practice. Because we were all hitting that wall, where nothing was going right and if we kept going we would only learn the mistakes.”

“I know that.” Beomgyu tried really hard to keep the pout out of his voice, because as much as he hated to admit it – Taehyun’s right. Logically, he knows Taehyun and Yeonjun are right, but that little voice in his head was hard to ignore.

“I know. But we all need reminding, sometimes. And hyung, you’re not pulling the team down or anything like that.” And there, Taehyun just goes straight to the crack in Beomgyu’s heart. “We wouldn’t be five without all of us.”

“No, it’d just be four,” he says snidely, and Taehyun flicks his forehead for it (but softly).

“Your voice is beautiful. It’s deep and I love how it gets a little throaty sometimes, like V-sunbaenim’s voice, and you’re such a good dancer, I can see it in the mirror during every practice and in every single video,” Taehyun continues, rubbing his thumb over the spot he flicked. “You complete – our group, and one bad practice isn’t going to change that.”

Taehyun looks to the side after his outburst, cheeks and ears a little pink. “We should go home,” he mumbles. “We have an early day.”

“Wait, Taehyun-ah. You really mean it?”

His ears get pinker, but still, Taehyun responds, “Of course I do. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” He brushes Beomgyu’s bangs to the side, and leans down, pressing his lips to his forehead softly. “I promise. I meant every word, hyung.”

Beomgyu slowly sits up, replaying Taehyun’s words in his mind. Taehyun keeps his gaze away from Beomgyu as he gathers his things, ears still pink, and he thinks – he thinks –

He stops thinking, and just reaches out, grabbing Taehyun’s wrist and when Taehyun turns to look at him, he leans forward and kisses him.

It’s clumsy, and he actually kisses the corner of Taehyun’s mouth instead of his lips, and he can’t really hear anything outside of his heart hammering wildly, but he can feel Taehyun smile his crooked smile and turn, just a little, so their mouths fit together. It’s soft and chaste and everything Beomgyu didn’t know he wanted, but now that he has it he doesn’t think he could ever stop.

Taehyun is the first to pull away, laughing softly when Beomgyu tries to follow. “I hope this isn’t just because I gave you a couple compliments,” he says in a joking tone but Beomgyu can see how Taehyun’s shoulders tense before he consciously forces them to relax.

“ _No_ – Taehyun-ah, _no_ , it’s _more_ than that – “ Beomgyu stumbles over his words in his rush to get them out of his mouth, grabbing Taehyun’s hand with both of his. “I love you, Taehyun-ah. I have for a while.”

He watches as Taehyun processes the words, blink, and watches as his mouth falls open in a silent _oh_ before a blinding smile appears on his face and his eyes crinkle shut. Taehyun reaches up, cups his hand around Beomgyu’s face and kisses him again through the laughter bubbling out. “I thought it was just me.”

Taehyun giggles, ears still bright pink but he moves his hand so their fingers are interlaced and Beomgyu doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so hard, or loved someone so much, or wanted to kiss someone so badly – so he does, again and again, laughing into Taehyun’s mouth, all his negative feelings brushed away as soon as Taehyun stepped through the practice room door.

–

four

It takes a little bribing (one packet of jelly candy and two pastries worth to Soobin), some crafty time management, and a lot of patience before Beomgyu can take Taehyun on an actual date, trying to fit a night together in their schedules – but luckily, a free night opens up and after a slightly awkward conversation with Soobin, Beomgyu ensures that they can sneak out for a couple hours that night and come back to an empty bedroom to watch a new drama together.

“So cute!” Soobin had said, pinching Beomgyu’s cheek and hugging him. “I’m happy for you,” he mumbles into the top of Beomgyu’s head. “The rest of us can have an Avengers marathon.”

“Thank you,” Beomgyu mumbles, hugging back and willing the butterflies in his stomach to calm down, just long enough so he can breathe past the _first date!_ that overwhelms his mind. “Can you not tell Yeonjun-hyung and Huening yet? We haven’t really… thought that far ahead. Or talked about it yet.”

“Of course.”

Now it’s time to _officially_ ask Taehyun on a date, but he steals a piece of jelly before leaving, cackling as Soobin yelled in mock rage.

Beomgyu almost skips down the hall in his excitement, navigating Bighit’s maze of hallways with an ease that he definitely didn’t have even just months ago (although the only locations he knows how to get to are the practice rooms and their studios).

He hears before he sees the hall that Taehyun’s studio is in, his voice floating in the air as he practices. Beomgyu stands in front of the door for a moment, waiting until Taehyun’s stopped singing before he knocks.

“You sound really nice,” he says when Taehyun opens the doors and lets him in, expression brightening.

“Hyung, I thought you had vocal lessons.” The door clicks shut and Taehyun kisses him, lips curved into a smile, hand coming up to hold his.

“The teacher needed to reschedule it, so I had a free hour.” Beomgyu kisses Taehyun again, still amazed that this is something that he can do, whenever he wants to. He follows Taehyun to the couch, pushing away sheet music and curling his feet up, propping his chin on his knees. “Wanted to see you.”

“We live together,” Taehyun deadpans.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes. “So? Still wanted to see you. And I wanted to ask you on a date. But mostly see you.”

Taehyun’s ears get pink at the earnestness in his voice. “You’re so corny, hyung.”

“I can be even cornier – “ Beomgyu unravels his legs, getting onto one knee in front of Taehyun. “Kang Taehyun,” he says, eyes wide and serious and hands clasping Taehyun’s calf, “Will you go on a date with me tonight?”

Taehyun buries his face in his hands and shakes with laughter, and Beomgyu’s heart warms at the sound. “Oh my god, I will if you’ll stop looking at me like that. And get off your knee, we haven’t even been on a date yet.”

Beomgyu inches closer and giggles, leaning his head against Taehyun’s knee and feeling him move, gently kissing the patch of skin exposed by the hole in his jeans. “Dress warm.”

“Will you ever tell me what we’re doing on this date or are you keeping me in suspense?”

He singsongs, “It’s a ~mystery~, Taehyun-ah,” and looks up, batting his eyelashes at Taehyun to watch him laugh again.

–

Soobin, being the great leader and friend that he is, distracts Yeonjun and Hueningkai at the end of dance practice with promises of action movies and popcorn. Beomgyu makes a note to buy him some donuts as thanks, but more importantly – he and Taehyun are going to go on their first _date_ , and Beomgyu could feel the butterflies in his stomach all over again.

“Will you tell me where we’re going now?” Taehyun asks, wrapping a scarf around his neck and tucking his arms into a long coat.

“God, you’re so _cute_ ,” Beomgyu blurts out, helping Taehyun hold the ends of the scarf out of the zipper.

Taehyun ducks his head, busying himself with his hat and hiding his smile in his scarf.

“We’re not going anywhere fancy,” Beomgyu mumbles, putting on his coat. “Just a walk by the Han River, and then I know you wanted to watch that new drama so I bribed Soobin-hyung to clear out of our room for the night so we can cuddle and start watching it together. But – if you wanted to do something we can figure it out, we haven’t even eaten dinner yet – “

“Hyung,” Taehyun interrupts Beomgyu’s nervous rambling, grabbing his hands. “It sounds wonderful. I just want to spend time with you, I don’t really care too much about what we’re doing.” Taehyun looks at him sincerely, and Beomgyu’s face heats up and he imagines his ears would be steaming.

“Taehyun-ah, you can’t just _say_ like that with _no warning_!”

Taehyun laughs and Beomgyu falls in love all over again, their hands clasped together as they head out into the cold night.

–

Standing next to the Han River, seeing the lights of all the buildings sparkle on the river in the night – it’s something out of Beomgyu’s most romantic daydreams and the fact that he was there, with Taehyun, and he can watch Taehyun fix his hair futilely in the wind and let his eyes linger on the lines of his face? He doesn’t think he’s been this happy since their debut.

He pulls his phone out and starts recording, wanting – no, _needing_ – to have this memory somewhere forever.

“Beomgyu-hyung, what are you doing?” Taehyun calls, noticing the phone in his hand.

He waves, calls back, “Recording a memory for the future.”

Taehyun walks over, linking his arm through Beomgyu’s and poking at the screen to turn the camera onto themselves. “You should be in the video too.” Beomgyu stretches his arm a little bit more so both their faces fit on the screen, and behind them the lights shimmered on the water. “Hi future-Taehyun-ah, future-Beomgyu-ah – “

“Future Beomgyu- _hyung_ – “

“I hope you like this video from the past! We’re on our first date!” Taehyun continues, ignoring him with a mischievous glance tossed his way.

Beomgyu glances over, and is struck completely silent in awe by Taehyun (as he usually is) and his profile sharp against the night sky. He leans over to kiss Taehyun’s cheek, unable to help himself, not when Taehyun is just so bright and ethereal and hearing him adapt to and join this little hobby of Beomgyu’s so easily.

Taehyun taps his cheek again expectantly when Beomgyu pulls away, and when he leans back in to kiss him Taehyun turns his head so they’re kissing properly instead, standing together under a bridge and next to the Han River, and Beomgyu thinks again, _I love you_. He thinks – _knows_ – he’ll always have this on his mind whenever he’s with Taehyun.

And in that moment, he knows for certain that he’s never been happier than he is now, pressed against Taehyun in a tight hug and being able to see what his mouth looks like, lips kiss-swollen and eyes crinkled in a smile so bright that it puts the city lights to shame.

–

five

The video opens to a black screen and no noise, save for a bird somewhere in the distance. Slowly, it pans up to Beomgyu’s smiling face, small pillow creases on his cheek.

 _I have to be quiet right now_ , he mouths, and turns his phone to show Taehyun sleeping on top of him, head pillowed on his chest and left hand clasped with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. Beomgyu holds the camera to their hands, and the video focuses on the simple band on Taehyun’s ring finger.

Beomgyu brings the camera back up to his face, where he’s smiling so wide his eyes crinkle shut. _But I’ve never been happier. I love you, Taehyun-ah. The past you, the current you, and the future you. Every single version of you, I love more than anything._

He brings the camera back to their clasped hands again, and stops the recording.

–

\+ one

Taehyun steadies the camera on his desk, taking a peek at the screen to make sure he’s in the frame. “Hi, Beomgyu-hyung,” he says softly, waving at the camera. “I feel a little silly doing this when you aren’t here, but – “ Taehyun shrugs, continues, “I wanted to record this for you.”

He reaches to the side and grabs a guitar, placing it in his lap and positioning his hands over the strings. “I got Kai to teach me the chords to this song. So don’t laugh, I’ve only been practicing it for the past couple weeks, but I’ll practice more before your birthday so I can play it for you then.”

Taehyun plucks at a couple of the strings nervously, humming under his breath. He looks up at the camera instead of his fingers, and says, “Beomgyu-hyung, I love you. I think I’ve loved you since we were just kids and you walked me to school even though you were exhausted from early morning lessons and wanted to go back to sleep. I’ve loved you since the morning before debut, when you told me you were talking to the future.”

He smiles, gaze slanting to the side when he remembers them stretching together in the practice room before the other members got there. “My heart is always looking at you. Happy birthday, hyung.”

Taehyun leans over the guitar, and starts playing.

_Since childhood, we would always go around together_


End file.
